A Great Vacation!

Well, our semi child-free week in VT will soon be coming to an end. Work, appointments, reality will soon be here.

The Mamma and I had a fine time doing a whole lot of nothing--especially not planning and preparing meals! It's not like we didn't eat--fear not--we just had a more leisurely approach. My favorite meal was corn on the cob and watermelon followed by ice cream. If it helps any, we walked to the ice cream stand.

Mamma experimented with her new sewing machine....

I rewatched Season 1 of "West Wing."

We spent some nice time with our oldest, bought a new area rug for the Family Room, looked at new linolium for the kitchen, test drove a 2010 Dodge Caravan, napped, read, and puttered. Last night we had dinner with some friends, went to a "parade" in town then to a band concert.

Today, I may buy a kayak!

But the best part was spending quiet, alone time with the Mamma and reconnecting in simple yet very important ways. And, we get to do it all again next week!

My Happy Little Felons

I received my reminder email about my upcoming Community Accountability Board (CAB) meeting. In my professional life I volunteer on a monthly community-based restorative justice program run by our county sheriff’s department. Restorative Justice is a theory of justice that emphasizes repairing the harm caused by criminal behavior rather than just punishing. It is based on a model of cooperation that includes all stakeholders—perpetrator, victims, law enforcement.

Each month my group of five community volunteers meets with four inmates (individually) who are in the last stages of their sentences and will soon be returning to our community. Since I run a youth service organization smack-dab in the middle of two low-income housing projects, I have a vested interest in knowing who’s moving in. Each inmate must attend four sessions with us. Our job is to help them identify the victims of their crime, find meaningful ways to make amends to the individual and community, and identify ways to keep from re-offending. We listen to their story, what brought them to incarceration, why they volunteered for CAB, ask them the hard questions, like, “What’s different this time?” and give them homework assignments.

Doesn’t that all sound just so enlightened? Well, can I just tell you how tiring it is to hear the same story over and over again? Maybe I’ve become cynical but I just don’t buy the “I want to do better for my kids” line when it’s the person’s 3rd, 7th, 11th incarceration for the same crime! We had one individual in front of us who has 8 children by 3 different women and could barely remember the names of all his kids! I mean really. Then there’s the guy who took the rap—and has spent the last 18 months in jail—for a family member because the family member “had more to lose.” WHAT?! What does that tell us about the value he places on his own 4 kids??? They don’t mean enough to him! And, one of my favorites, the guy who broke his 6 month old’s arm when he violently grabbed her because she was crying and he was tired. He actually thinks he’s going to get custody of his kids when he gets out. Another classic was the man who insisted that he did not have a drinking problem, he has a driving problem. As long as he doesn’t drive, he can drink all he wants. And we can’t forget the 52 year old addict, serving out his 8th sentence, who thought it was a good thing for him to be out, hanging on the streets, ‘cause he could be a role model for the kids on who NOT to become.

Of course, 99% of the crimes and issues we’ve had before us can be linked back to substance abuse. Whether it’s the 18 year old who is serving time for breaking and entering to support his habit, the stereotypical gang banger in for distribution (wasn’t his fault, wrong place, wrong time, wrong person), or the health care worker addicted to pain meds who was stealing from the clinic. Drugs will own you.

But we have has some success stories. Folks who are actually ready to take personal responsibility for their decisions, actions, behaviors, and attitudes. Folks who feel legitimate remorse for what they’ve done and who they’ve hurt, and want to make things right. I guess that’s why I keep attending—people can change and there is always hope.

The Great Spirit

I have been invited to preach again this summer at our church in northern Vermont. I'm humbled, excited and nervous. So, I've been reading through the Lectionary and looking for cool prayers--I came upon this Native American one. I love it and think I'll be using it this summer.

Great Spirit Prayer

"Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear me; I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice
Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.
Help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards me.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
Help me seek pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others.
Help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy
Myself.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame.

Psalm 23

At my last Spiritual Formation class we were discussing prayer with scripture. We spent most of our time with Psalms and were asked to write our own Psalm 23 based on who God is to us. It was a great exercise to actually describe and explain who God is in my life. This is what I came up with.



Psalm 23

The Lord is my reality check; I shall not take myself too seriously.
He knows my heart.
He gives me clarity of purpose.
He restores my sense of humor.
He guides me in the ways of justice and peace
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the maze of life’s challenges
you provide me with wisdom,
for you are my moral compass;
your truth and discernment
they guide me.

You are the DJ for the soundtrack of my life
the song birds of spring, the words of love and encouragement, the chatter of children;
you paint the world with piercing color;
my eyes open in wonder.

Surely your strength and compassion are my source
for patience, gentleness, humility,
and I can approach you without pretense
whenever.

PhotoHunt: Half

Half Hidden. Half Submerged.

Wrapping Your Mind Around This

I was chatting with a colleague of mine the other day about the work we do. He is a case manager for a state department that works with adjudicated youth. I work with and live with kids who come from very challenging situations. We were commenting that people outside of our world would have a hard time believing some of the stuff we deal with everyday. Kids who are considered sex offenders before they’re 18, kids who’d rather get locked up than go home, kids who are suicidal, kids without goals and aspirations, kids so used to failure and so afraid of success they sabotage any achievement, kids caught up with gangs because it’s the only place they feel accepted and cared for, or kids who perp other kids because it’s what they know. How do you explain the balancing act between holding someone accountable and pushing a little, with the worry it might have been too much and you’ve pushed them over the edge? How do you describe the feelings you have while you watch a young person escorted out of your building in shackles—wrists, ankles, and waist?

I’m a big fan of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and go back to that model when working with our challenging kids. How can we expect any other type of behavior from our kids when their basic needs of food, shelter, and safety haven’t been met? Sometimes what we see as “behavior problems” are really just survival skills.

We, as a society, are failing our kids. How do we break the cycle? I admire the work my colleague does—he treats his clients with dignity, respect and expectation. I admire the work my staff does—they provide a nurturing environment of acceptance, expectation, accountability, and belonging. Our influence is limited and time sensitive. We have to push a little harder sometimes and hope the safety nets we set up aren’t shredded.

PhotHunt: Mother

I cropped in on the hands of MamaDrama and Baby Dee taken at the boys' basketball game. The full photo is a beautiful profile of MamaDrama with Baby Dee looking into the camera. I like the simplicity of the connection between them.