Thursday, April 29, 2010

Time Lines

I recently attended a two-part leadership training program through the national organization of my humble little local youth organization. One of the exercises the faculty had us do was to chart our personal timelines, marking highs and lows. I saw that mine had very few dips--an accident when I was a baby resulting in several surgeries and a scar on my face, the death of grandparents, the recent estrangement from my family--and many peaks--academic achievements, getting jobs I wanted, travels, meeting my spouse, parenting. It got me thinking of what our son's timeline would look like. He isn't even out of elementary school and has already had more lows than my entire leadership class combined. My anger and disgust over the physical, sexual and emotional abuse he endured makes me physically and emotionally sick. His disclosures certainly put his behaviors and "quirks" in perspective--control, trust, being believed, hyper-vigilance, inabilityy to take personal responsibility. By his reporting these abuses and speaking out loud the horrible things he is beginning the process of healing. I, however, want to hurt the people who hurt him.

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